My Dear O-lanzapine
by Sid Wojohowitz
She came to me sideways, in a dream
My dear O-lanzapine
When we met I was nothin, a loser, a real nutter
A full-blown schizo-phreen
And she was a beauty - a queen
Structurally similar, some say, to Clozapine
She took me down
The oral route
I said why the hell not
I’ve got nothing to lose
She was kinky and kinda queer, but still she was mine
For once I was thinking clearly - no longer out of my mind
Then I don’t know - something happened, something flipped
Did I really know this O-lanzapine?
I started twitching, I was agitated, like a killing machine
I looked in the mirror, jumped on the scale - I was also getting FAT
She said get ahold of yourself
That there was no turning back
Like my tongue, my mind was rolling
This way, then that
I decided to take a break, get away from this nightmare
Try and get back
But she wouldn’t have it
My dear O-lanzapine
She said if she’s not enough, she’ll call her friend
Her bi- friend, Fluoxetine
Fluoxetine, I said, are you crazy?
I’d had quite enough
She said it was I who was crazy
That what I needed was tough love
Love, I said, how rich, this must be a dream
She said I was out of control, that I needed to up my dose…
That I was downright mean
Turns out she had feelings too, my dear O-lanzapine
I woke up the next morning, in a helluva daze
It was an atypical dream, but the side-effects were much the same
Last thing I remember, I was going to get clean
Get away forever, from my dear O-lanzapine
